When I woke up today, I had the usual feelings of dread. Not because I knew that bad things were going to happen to me during the day, but because I simply wake up that way most of the time.
I haven’t really woken up jumping out of bed ready to take the day. Ever.
And that’s okay because I can get to that state a few minutes after I experience my dreadful feelings and thoughts.
Maybe it’s because my dreams felt so good that I was dreading the “waking life.” Usually, we are much more grateful to wake up when nightmares happen and we realize it’s just a dream when we’re awake. But regardless of whether the dream was good or bad, we wake up the way we wake up and that’s not always such a bad thing.
If there’s one thing I learned from Stoicism, it’s that the way you respond is much more superior to the way you react.
So I woke up responding to my negative emotions. I let them run through my body like receiving pain that I know is inevitable.
And after a while, I found myself feeling much better.
Then I worried about money. (I know, so dramatic so early! Lol.)
And I had to ask myself why. It was really because I wasn’t so clear about what I had or how much I have in my own accounts and so I decided to be clear.
When it’s Christmas, we just tend to give gifts like there’s no exchange of energy that’s taking place. At least, in my case, as I grew older and was able to afford to buy gifts for family and friends, I felt obligated to show up on Christmas Eve with something material in hand for someone else. I never questioned whether the energy I was giving was that of abundance or scarcity or the expectation to receive something in return.
So I got up and started planning. (I know, so obsessive so early! Lol.)
Well, not really planning but more journaling on this beautiful digital planner by a lady entrepreneur named Michelle Rohr.
And all that jotting down of expenses and budgets and thoughts, feelings, and things led me to see clearly what money I had, how much I am energetically prepared to spend, and how much I have more (more than enough energy is working!).
It gave me much more clarity to jot these things down than if I had simply thought about them with no way to record my thoughts and see them on (digital) paper.
It helped me feel much more abundant knowing I know my numbers and the energy behind them. It showed me that I am able to have more than enough and that the world is more abundant than we believed by default.
I love that I didn’t call it my Christmas Budget when I opened my Notes app to write. I called it my Abundance Appointment. Today, this feels good for me and, tomorrow, I might call it something different. But tomorrow isn’t here yet.
We have now. This moment itself is a present---a gift---of abundance.
Set your calendars for your Abundance Appointments and make sure to feel that you have more than enough even when the numbers on the bank don’t say so. When you feel it, so it is.