We were supposed to go out today but, yet again, I woke up much later than I would’ve wanted to.
And that’s okay.
How many people can say that about disappointment? Really, I’m curious.
When the going gets tough, we often find ourselves blaming—dun da du dun—who else? But ourselves.
The times when everything else seems harder when even moving seems like an arduous task, we often feel like it’s because we caused ourselves to burn out. Because we didn’t rest. Because we were doing stuff for others and didn’t set our boundaries. Because we’re just plain scared to go out there and be.
But what today’s cancellation of plans taught me was that every day we have a choice.
And I know you might have heard about that line many times over but it’s so true.
I had a choice today to please my family to the detriment of not wanting to go anywhere myself.
And I did set the intention that I was going to be there for them. To show up for them. And I didn’t.
And that’s okay.
Because today I learned something valuable and that is self-trust.
Trust that you are where you’re supposed to be. That every decision you ever made is a conduit to the future you’ve always desired but is actually here now.
Even though you canceled (or even though it was a mutual decision to cancel), you are alive and well and breathing and reading this right now.
And for my case, I am inspired to write this right now.
This post is not about setting goals anymore to post daily nor earning more money or relieving myself of my own disappointments.
It’s about just being with the questions we keep asking ourselves day in and day out without looking for the answers all the freaking time.
We tend to demand from our creativity answers to questions about life. “Philosophy” at its best, endless searching at its worst.
And that’s okay.
When we let go of the questions, the answers come much more naturally.
So asking what does this mean that I canceled? How can I learn from this? Or, worse, what can I do instead? just isn’t going to cut it when you’re BE-ing.
Let the questions go. Let the appointments cancel. Heck, let Christmas cancel for all its worth. I’m not being Scrooge-y here. I’m just saying, everything is arbitrary.
We set dates and deadlines like they are the law. But the only rule in life is to be. And from there, you can begin again or continue where you left off. ;)
Comments:
Such a strong lesson here. Thank you :)